He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I believe in your delicious
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
