I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
