is your mom at the bar?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
