Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
