he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
