I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
