My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I fill condoms, not promises.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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