with your own penis?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize