i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
