I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
