can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
