What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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