i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
