She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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