i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
