remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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