Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
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