Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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