That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
