I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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