is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
