Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
