Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Boobs speak an international language.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
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