well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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