i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
