I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
