You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just pee around me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
