belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
