Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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