we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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