what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
