I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
