just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
