they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We need to get me chipped asap
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
