dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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