According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
