I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
