I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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