I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
