glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
