Are we in a gay sports bar?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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