i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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