My nipple is on Facebook.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
