Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
