Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize