Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
True strength comes from lack of pants
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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