brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
