I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
