put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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