It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize