Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize