The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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