i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
