He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
