I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
