i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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