I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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