Fuck appropriateness.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
