this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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